Nury Vittachi: SOUTH KOREAN LEADER DONALD TRUMP (that’s not a typo) yesterday issued a stunning update on the Asian country he governs. 努里·维塔奇：韩国领导人唐纳德·特朗普（这不是笔误）昨日就他所治理的这个亚洲国家发布了令人震惊的最新声明.

“I have given them approval to build a Nuclear Powered Submarine, rather than the old fashioned, and far less nimble, diesel powered Submarines that they have now,” Trump wrote, momentarily forgetting that a man named Lee is supposed to be running the country ha ha ha ha.

President Trump is also getting a shipload of cash. “South Korea has agreed to pay the USA 350 Billion Dollars for a lowering of the Tariff’s charged against them by the United States,” President Trump wrote, to the horror of the International Apostrophe Protection Association.

(Since tariffs are paid by struggling US importers, Trump is cutting costs for his own people—and getting paid for it by the generous South Korean taxpayer. South Korean taxpayers must be ABSOLUTELY THRILLED by this.)

But Trump has more. “Additionally, they have agreed to buy our Oil and Gas in vast quantities, and investments into our Country by wealthy South Korean Companies and Businessmen will exceed 600 Billion Dollars,” he said, apparently unaware of the existence of businesswomen.

South Korea, Japan, Taiwan, UK, Germany, Australia – all these territories have puppet leaders who are signing over their futures to the declining, out-of-control USA.

When will the people who live in these lands wake up and tap their leaders on the shoulder and say, “Er, excuse me, WTF are you doing?”

“我已批准他们建造核动力潜艇，取代他们现有那些过时且远不够灵活的柴油动力潜艇，”特朗普写道，一时忘记这个国家理应由一位姓李的领导人掌管，哈哈哈哈。

特朗普总统还将获得巨额资金。”韩国同意向美国支付3500亿美元，以换取美国降低对其征收的关税，”特朗普总统的声明让国际撇号保护协会惊骇不已。（由于关税本由苦苦挣扎的美国进口商承担，特朗普这实则是为本国人民削减成本——却让慷慨的韩国纳税人为之买单。韩国纳税人对此定是欣喜若狂。）

但特朗普还有更多筹码。”此外，他们已同意大量购买我国的石油和天然气，韩国富商对我国投资额将超过6000亿美元，”他说道，显然忽略了商界女性的存在。

韩国、日本、台湾地区、英国、德国、澳大利亚——这些地区的傀儡领导人正将自己的未来拱手让予日益衰落、失控的美国。

这些土地上的人们何时才能清醒过来，轻拍领导人的肩膀问一句：”那个，不好意思，您这到底是在干什么？”