Why parents are often reluctant for their children to return to their roots as adults. Report by Johnson Choi from San Francisco on January 7 2026
為何許多華人子女的父母-無論子女在海外出生或在中國出生後定居海外-往往不願意讓子女在成年後回歸根源. 作者: 蔡永強. 美國舊金山. 2026年1月7日
Based on my 40+ years of experience as a tax and financial advisor, I have observed several recurring themes that explain why many parents of Chinese children – whether born abroad or in China but living overseas – are often reluctant for their children to return to their roots as adults.
These reasons generally fall into three categories:
- Competitive & Social Pressures
Children who may struggle academically or with social adaptability often find the highly competitive environment in Asia daunting. Parents sometimes perceive that their children would face significant professional and social challenges reintegrating. - Socioeconomic Factors
In families with considerable wealth, some children exhibit less motivation to pursue demanding careers. With the security of family resources and future inheritance, they may choose to adopt a more leisurely lifestyle rather than engage in high-pressure work environments. - Familial & Emotional Considerations
As parents age, many express a desire to keep their children geographically closer for emotional support and companionship. Encouraging a return to China could mean their children settle far from where the parents have established their lives abroad, which can feel like losing precious proximity in later years.
These insights, drawn from decades of client interactions, highlight the complex interplay between culture, economics, and family dynamics in these deeply personal decisions.
On a personal note, I have two close friends whose sons recently earned electrical engineering degrees—one from a state university and the other from an Ivy League institution. Both secured positions at the same utility company. Interestingly, both were told by their supervisors that “working hard is not the company’s culture.”
The Ivy League graduate was pleased, telling his parents it was the perfect retirement job from day one. The state university graduate, however, left after two years. He told his parents he refused to waste his life at such a stagnant company and returned to the private sector.
This story illustrates how upbringing shapes one’s outlook and resilience. Some children may possess high IQ, but without the EQ (emotional intelligence) to navigate today’s world, their paths can diverge dramatically.
A similar dynamic applies to many U.S.-based companies that charge Americans two to three times more than the global market rate. They can do this largely because the U.S. government restricts foreign competition from entering the domestic market. This is why a Tesla can cost three times more than a comparable electric vehicle from BYD.
While this may seem like a smart protective move in the short term, it undermines long-term competitiveness. Sheltered from global competition, U.S. products often become uncompetitive on the world stage.
This is why cultivating a global mindset in the next generation is crucial. If your children can compete and thrive in Asia—especially if they are literate in Chinese—they will be equipped to succeed anywhere, not just within the confines of their local market.
It’s worth remembering that the Western world, led by the U.S., EU, Canada, Australia, and New Zealand, is experiencing relative decline. Meanwhile, regions like China, ASEAN, the Middle East, Africa, and the broader Global South are growing three to five times faster. That is where the future is being built.
根據我四十多年擔任稅務與財務顧問的經驗，觀察到一些反覆出現的主題，足以解釋為何許多華人子女的父母-無論子女在海外出生或在中國出生後定居海外-往往不願意讓子女在成年後回歸根源。
這些原因主要可分為三類：
- 競爭與社會壓力
學業或社羣適應能力較弱的子女，常感到亞洲高度競爭的環境令人卻步。父母有時認為，子女若重返亞洲，將在職業與社會融入上面臨重大挑戰。 - 社會經濟因素
在財力雄厚的家庭中，部分子女對於追求高要求職業的動力較低。憑藉家庭資源與未來繼承的保障，他們可能選擇過着較安逸的生活，而非投身於高壓的工作環境。 - 家庭與情感考量
隨著父母年歲增長，許多人希望子女能住得更近，以獲得情感支持與陪伴。若鼓勵子女返回中國，可能意味著他們將定居在遠離父母海外生活根基之處，這在父母晚年時，會彷彿失去珍貴的親近機會。
這些源自數十年客戶互動的洞察，凸顯了文化、經濟與家庭動機在這些極個人化的決定中，如何複雜地相互影響。
就個人經歷而言，我有兩位好友，他們的兒子最近都取得了電機工程學位——一位畢業於州立大學，另一位則來自常春藤盟校。兩人都在同一家公用事業公司找到了職位。有趣的是，他們的主管都告訴他們「努力工作並非公司的文化」。
那位常春藤畢業生對此感到滿意，告訴父母這從第一天起就是一份完美的退休工作。然而，那位州立大學的畢業生却在兩年後離職了。他告訴父母，他不願在如此停滯不前的公司浪費生命，因此回到了私營企業。
這個故事說明了家庭教養如何塑造一個人的觀點和韌性。有些孩子可能擁有高智商，但如果缺乏情商來應對當今世界，他們的發展道路可能會截然不同。
類似的情況也出現在許多總部位於美國的公司，它們向美國人收取的價格比全球市場高出兩到三倍。它們之所以能這樣做，主要是因為美國政府限制外國競爭者進入國內市場。這就是為什麼特斯拉的價格可以比比亞迪生產的同級電動車高出三倍。
儘管這在短期內看似一種聰明的保護措施，但它卻損害了長期的競爭力。在隔絕全球競爭的環境下，美國產品往往在世界舞台上失去競爭力。
這就是為什麼為下一代培養全球視野至關重要。如果你的孩子能夠在亞洲競爭並茁壯成長——特別是如果他們能讀寫中文——他們將具備在任何地方取得成功的能力，而不僅僅局限於本地市場。
值得記住的是，以美國、歐盟、加拿大、澳大利亞和紐西蘭為首的西方世界正經歷相對的衰退。與此同時，中國、東協、中東、非洲以及更廣泛的全球南方地區，其增長速度卻快了三到五倍。未來，正是在那裡被構建起來的。
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